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“Bird Poop,
Snakes and Fish, Oh My!” Outrageous Spa Treatments
we wouldn’t dare try (And the alternatives we
love)
We’re certified spa girls, and we’ve got the
website to prove it, but some of today’s trendiest spa
treatments are too extreme, even by our “we’ll
try anything once” standards. So, if snakes on your
back sounds more like a nightmare than a treat, and you avoid
bird droppings at all costs (we do!), here are some great
alternatives to the most outrageous spa treatments we’ve
happened upon.
Outrageous Treatment #1: Nightingale Excrement Facial
Sure, everyone knows that Japan’s Geishas are
known for iconic beauty and incredible power to wield
their feminine wiles. But, until now, few knew that,
as part of an ancient tradition, these ladies have treated
themselves (we use that term very lightly)
to facials using dehydrated droppings from nightingales
to cleanse their skin of heavy makeup and keep complexions
aglow.
Verdict: For the birds.
More cuckoo than cool, especially at a whopping
$200 per treatment at certain high end spas across the
nation. And while the droppings are purified with UV
technology and are technically sanitary, we can’t
seem to shake the aversion we have to this treatment.
So why are folks lining up for this bird-brained facial?
The reason behind the buzz is that bird poop contains
the natural enzyme guanine which can help clear this
skin by ridding it of dead skin cells and killing bacteria.
There are less troubling ways to provide the skin with
comparable natural enzymes. We say, opt for the alternative.
Alternative: Keep your eyes peeled for enzyme
facials at your favorite high-end spa to get the same excellent
results.
Outrageous Treatment #2: Snake Massage
A certain spa in Israel made headlines this year by
offers a “Snake Massage” which unleashes
six non-venomous snakes on clients’ backs to soothe
overworked, aching muscles with a natural massaging
action. The owner of the Israeli spa in question says
she simply believes that contact with the reptiles is
therapeutic.
Verdict: Fear Factor was
never our favorite.
Blame it on Ophidiophobia, but a snake in our massage bed
is a vignette more suited for a late-night nightmare than
a soothing spa treatment.
Alternative: If overworked muscles
and concentrated tension are what ails you, and you’ve
got a hankering to be one with nature, a Hot Stone Massage
is the alternative we suggest. Certified to bless your dreams
rather than haunt your nightmares, this treatment uses heated,
natural stones to release tension through heat therapy and
expert kneading.
Or, if the concurrent motion of multiple massagers is what
has you intrigued, leave it to the professionals with a Four-Hand
Massage, available at high-end spas. During this treatment
not one, but two massage therapists work in concert to provide
a soothing, full-body massage with varying pressure.
Outrageous Treatment #3: The Fish Pedicure
Spas across the nation and abroad are slowly introducing
the “Fish Pedicure” to their menus. Small
fish called Garra Rufa, which naturally feed on dead
skin, are introduced to the pedicure bowl as your feet
soak. These little swimmers furiously, albeit painlessly,
nip away at the dry, flaking and dead skin on the feet.
Verdict: We can hear the JAWS
music in our heads. Next.
Alternative: If supreme exfoliation is
what you are looking for, opt for a standard Spa Pedicure
and an Add-On Microdermabrasion treatment for the feet
(available at most medspas). Not only is this treatment
just as painless as the “Fish Pedicure,” it
offers comparable results with, dare we say, a bit more
refinement.
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